Jackattak's Bassnectar Show Blog May 8th, 2009

Friday, May 8th, 2009. The Crystal Ballroom. My first Bassnectar show. This is going to totally rock.

7:ooPM - Bunny and I left our apartment to head over to Mel's place to prefunk before the show. We picked-up three 24 oz. cans of Red Bull for everyone to make Red Bulls n' vodka. Got to Mel's at 7:30 on the dot and were greeted by a shirtless Josiah. Hippie!!

8:00PM - Justin and Brittney show up at Mel's and the prefunking ensues!

9:30PM - We leave Mel's place for the one block walk to the Crystal Ballroom. Convenient!

9:40PM - We arrive at the scene of the crime. We are immediately bombarded by some asshole McMennamin's employee barking at kids outside the venue.

"No drugs! No bags! No white gloves! No Vick's! No candy! No glowsticks!" He keeps chanting this over and over. A group of us outside finally start shouting back.

"So then, like, NO FUN?!"

I shove what I need to shove into my shoes and we go on inside after picking up our tickets at will-call. Walk inside. Put up my arms to be searched. The guy pats me in two places and tells me to go on in. I was expecting a full body cavity search the way that gorilla at the front door was going on! Easy enough. I successfully smuggled my Stride gum into the place. It was in my hand the entire time.

We get inside and work our way up to the third floor, where the Crystal Ballroom resides. The second floor is Lola's Room, a much smaller, more intimate venue.

We get into the Crystal and see that they have it segregated with barriers. One side is for 21+ with bartenders and the other side is for everyone, which is closest to the stage. There is a split roughly down the center of the ballroom floor for event staff to migrate to the stage quickly and unimpeded.

No coat checks, but we fixed that. I found a table that the 21+ ID checker was using to put stuff on, which was draped in a black cloth. I pulled up the cloth and we hid our jackets underneath it.

Despite me and Bunny advising the kids not to drink under the circumstances, Josiah, Justin, and Brittney get their beers on. :D Oh you crazy kids!

The night's libations prove to be powerful, which is nice. I might have gotten my doses a little high, as my measuring equipment lacked the proper incremental measurement so I had to eyeball it. I erred on the side of too much. Just to be sure, you know.

The first kid, Kush Arora, did very well. Dubstep to be sure, and we grooved for a minute to get warmed up. Gift of Gab came on next, and that was certainly going to be exciting, right?

Come to find out, Gift of Gab is the MC Blackalicious along with the DJ Random Rab. I had no clue there was going to be hip-hop this night and neither did Bunny. We were in the wrong mindset all together and things didn't go so swell with our libations. We let them die, not wanting to waste anything on the big show, Bassnectar.

Don't get me wrong, Gift of Gab was good. I wasn't really down with Blackalicious forcing the all ages side to say "Fuck ya'll over there" only to have the 21+ side scream the same thing (too negative for me), but he's a skilled MC to say the least and the show was roughly enjoyable given my mindset at the time. At one point in his show, an older woman appeared on stage. When I say appeared, I mean she more or less coallesced on stage. One second it was just Blackalicious and Random Rab, the next second there was an older woman (roughly 55-60) on stage with them. If you thought we were surprised by this, you should've seen Blackalicious.

The woman on stage with Blackalicious was clearly out of her gord. Some poor Mom who got pulled along with her kid(s), who probably dosed her on something. She was very, very out of it. She kept trying to hold Blackalicious' hand and he wouldn't let her. Finally after his song, Blackalicious introduced her to the crowd as "Sandy" and called on security. They whisked her away quietly enough, although poor Sandy was definitely unwilling and didn't want to leave the limelight so quickly. As the event staff were escorting her off stage and through the middle of their clear path, she was reaching out and trying to grab people on the 21+ side of the barriers. I was standing right at the barrier and quickly got out of her reach before she came to where I was standing. Didn't want those LSD-induced claws in me, thanks!

We took a bathroom break after Gift of Gab finished and upon our return we found Bassnectar getting fired up. We got back in our good position for the show. The libations were coming on strong again, as we had re-upped between the shows. The imagery was pure madness. Sick, sick stuff going across three 108" HD-DLP screens behind Bassnectar himself. The images I saw on those three screens I can't readily describe with my limited word bank.

As if that weren't enough, Bassnectar brought in at least 20 of the largest speaker cabinets I've ever seen, and lined them up in a "wall of bass" in front and below his DJ position. His stringy, long, dark hair bounding around and flicking all about while he throws down some of the sickest, stickiest dubstep I've heard. Lots of killer vocalizations as well. We danced and danced until it was over. Bassnectar had played for two hours straight. Ridiculous!

After the show we found Josiah up in the mezzanine and we all joined him up there for a quick seat before we left. We reflected on what had just happened, libations still running strong of course, and then we walked back to Mel's to wind-down and call it a night.

Bunny and I decided to cab it home after a while and we talked Justin into sharing the cab with us so he and Brittney could sleep in our second bedroom, all nice and cozy. They did just that and we finally got to bed around 5AM.

It was an overall successful mission, to say the least. I only wish it could've lasted longer, but I always wish that. I'm never really ready for the party to end.

When I grow up I want to party all night and all day and never sleep.

Alas, in our vast world that is largely devoid of any real semblance of fun, we work the majority of our lives away almost every single Monday through Friday after we turn 18, only to retire (if we're lucky) at 65 when we're all too old to party anymore. I ask you, what the FUCK is so good about that? Shouldn't life be quite the opposite? Who the hell finds work so much fun that they want to do that more than they want to party? What the fuck is wrong with the people who built this crazy code? I find myself disgusted with the 50-hour work week.

I want to win the lottery and buy Ibiza.

But enough with the negativity. Allow me to reflect on Friday night and remember the positive vibes we all shared through seemingly the same conciousness. 'Cuz it was sure was fun and I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my closest of friends and the great times we share together. It somehow makes all the hard work worthwhile.

Peace, Jackattak

Diet Diary Day 8

Well, today's the big day! Bassnectar at Crystal Ballroom! Got through the workday and ran my ass home to help with dinner, only to find that I didn't need to do anything at all!

Bunny made a gorgeous and delicious salad of mixed greens, red onions, candied pecans that Bunny candied herself (so good) and Bunny's homemade vinaigrette. One piece of bread was all I could put down after a big plate of salad. My stomach is certainly shrinking fast!

No exercise today as I want to save my legs and back for tonight's show. I most certainly will get all the workout I need from shaking my ass on the Crystal's dance floor!

Bassnectar show blog post coming next!

~Jackattak

Diet Diary Day 7

Bunny woke-up feeling like shit, now. I will go home and take good care of her so that she can mend before the Bassnectar show. She's a little feverish, but only by 1 degree so I think she'll manage.

Came home and did laundry plus made dinner. I fixed a chicken stir-fry with a bunch of veggies we had in the fridge. So good! Bunny enjoyed it as well. Of course it's good for us. Bunny started feeling better by dinner time but I wouldn't let her lift a finger, except for helping with the folding of clothes. Otherwise I made Bunny sit her little tooshie on the couch to rest.

No exercise today as I didn't really have time, what with doing laundry (namely the bed linens...they were gross after all my feverish sweating) and cooking dinner. Not complaining. I was happy to help out with home stuff so Bunny could rest and recover from being sick today.

Bassnectar tomorrow! One more day of work!

~Jackattak

Diet Diary Day 6

Still sick! Still feverish at 99.7° F this morning. Got better through the afternoon and I felt damned-near perfect by 5PM.

No workout as I don't want to stress myself after being sick. Didn't much of anything again, so no worries of getting fatter while I lay in bed.

Good news is that I only have two days of the work week left until I can party my ass off at the Bassnectar show on Friday night! W00t!!

Bunny took great care of me the past two days. I'm sure she was just happy to have someone at home with her!

~Jackattak

Diet Diary Day 5

Whoa. Not good. Woke-up with a migraine from hell. It was so bad that I couldn't even see straight. Worse still, I had to get up and iron nice clothes as we had a visitor at work so we had to dress business casual.

Make my way in to work somehow, all the while getting rained on while waiting for the MAX and walking to and fro. Got to work, got my daily stuff done, and went directly home for the day.

Right around 2PM I was feeling terribly hot on the outside and extremely cold on the inside, so I decided to check the ol' temperature. 100.2° F. Good enough for a fever! Checked it again an hour later, after Bunny ran out and got me some Tylenol. 100.7° F. Ruh-roh. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be coming in on Wednesday, either.

Needless to say, I didn't eat much of anything and I sure as shit didn't exercise. Slept like a baby and that was about that.

Good thing about the flu/fever/supercold or whatever it was that hit me is that I don't eat really anything at all, so I'm losing weight just by being sick. Sweet! Hope I feel better before Bassnectar on Friday...

~Jackattak

Jack's Diet Blog: Day Four

Wow can't believe I'm all ready on Day Four! The time goes by quickly. Hopefully before I know it my Summer bod will start shaping up.

Had an English muffin breakfast sammich for, you guessed it, breakfast, which had turkey breakfast sausage, eggs, and cheese on it, a Clif Bar after our Kung Fu practice, white rice with string beans and carrots for dinner, and some fresh cherries for desert. I couldn't have eaten more than 1,000 calories all day.

Had an intensive and great Kung Fu workout at the Brothers' House. Did Tan Toi lines 1-4, two lines each from one end of the horseshoe pit to the other, worked on step-&-change, bursting, Gun Tin, Tao Tsao Tsing, and went through all of our stancework. Also did three reps of Arrow Hands, of course. I'll be finishing every workout with Arrow Hands from here on out.

Drank too many beers. Head fuddled. So glad that Jake dropped that bottle of Jameson's, because if he hadn't I'd be hurtin' this morning. I all ready am, but it's not from the alcohol. It's from the workout. ;)

I am also glad that the meat on the grill took so long and we were unable to enjoy any before we had to leave. That kept my caloric intake very low.

Was hungry and weak last night. Slept like shit. I woke-up around 4AM for no good reason at all and took me an hour to get back to sleep. Today will suck. My coffee isn't much help!

~Jackattak

Jack's Diet Blog: Day Three

Saturday, May 2nd.

Had a Clif Bar for breakfast, a piece of bread and leftover halibut for lunch, and cooked up some homemade chili with ground turkey for dinner (more bread, too).

No exercise. I think I am going to make Saturday exercising optional throughout the program. I was pretty tired and sore from working out on Thursday and Friday and knew I would be getting a rigorous workout on Sunday's Kung Fu practice, so I figured I could give myself a day off. Plus I walked to the MAX and went to work for an hour, so I got in a two mile total walk, so that's some exercise, at least.

Very hungry all day. Wish my damned stomach would hurry and shrink, all ready!

~Jackattak

Jack's Diet Blog: Day Two

Friday, May 1st. Had a Clif Bar for breakfast, a wok bowl with chicken and assorted veggies from New Seasons for lunch, and baked halibut with asparagus and bread for dinner.

Exercise: Did Tan Toi lines 3, 5, and 8 in the garage from one end to the other, five reps of each 9-Sectional White Lotus strength exercises 1-5 , and three sets of Arrow Hands.

Still hungry, but dealing with it. Only drank two beers, which is good on a Friday night.

~Jackattak

Jack's Summer Bod Blog Part 1

The time has come for me to get rid of my Winter Hibernation Layer (i.e. the spare tire making my t-shirts stretch at the belly) in preparation for the Summer festivities, namely the Emergnsee Festival 2009.

This blog will serve as my personal diary for keeping track of my progress over the next six weeks or so. That being said, I don't expect anyone to find any of this very interesting, therefore I won't be sending out any blog updates like I usually do. If someone decides to check this out on their own, so be it. Personally I would find someone else's exercise/diet blog diary about as interesting as watching mold grow on the walls of a shitty inner-NE Portland apartment. Not that I've ever done that. /sarcasm

I'm not sure how long this will take me, and I don't have a bona fide plan, per se. That sentence contained more Latin than I've used in years. My plan at this point is to simply eat less and workout more. Kung fu every day. EVERY DAY. Consequently that will help me cut-down on my drinking as well, and I think it stands to reason that will help me cut down my waist line in due process (12 oz. beer curls don't help the beltline). I think with this steady regimen, I should be able to make my body Summer-ready in 6 weeks. Seems reasonable to me.

Day One

Good Eats: Yesterday was Day One. I ate a vegan smart muffin from Peet's Coffee & Tea Downtown for breakfast. Ate two of Bunny's uber-fabulous Chinese BBQ chicken lettuce wraps for lunch. For dinner I met Bunny at our Subway after work and I had a 6" roasted chicken sub, a personal-sized bag of Doritos, and a Power-C Vitamin Water.

Exercise: Bunny accompanied me to the lower-level garage under our apartment building and we performed the following kung fu exercises:

Tan Toi Lines 1 & 2, from one end of the garage to the other. Bunny aggravated her lower-thigh so we thought it best to move on since there are so many single-splits in Tan Toi and I didn't want her to make it worse.

9-Sectional White Lotus Exercises 1-5, 5 sets each.

Arrow Hands, 5 sets.

After that we watched the Blazers lose the playoffs. I drank two 16-oz. PBR's during the game. Not too upset about the Blazers losing. They had a remarkable season, 41 wins last year, 54 wins and a playoff series this year. Couldn't be prouder of the boys in black. Or red. Whatever color they're wearing.

I found myself quite hungry from 3PM - 5PM during Day One, but it being the first day of a diet routine it stands to reason. I have to give my stomach time to shrink-down and stop wanting so much food. Long gone are the days I spend at work shoveling snack mix into my mouth before I even eat lunch. The thought of it disgusts me, really. One look in the mirror shirtless is all it takes for me to want to rip the fat out of my body with my tiger claw exercise. Being that could be construed as extreme to an on-looker, I will stick to my diet/exercise routine.

I expect I won't be as hungry today, Day Two. I can't wait for the results to start coming in, though. I wish I was 6 weeks ahead into the future right now and marveling over my deliciously ripped abs. Doubtful that will happen in 6 weeks but I can at least make myself look better in that time.

Which brings me to my final note for my first diet diary entry. What is my goal at the end of six weeks? Come to think of it, when will 6 weeks be? Six weeks from today, which is May 1st, will be June 15th. So, my goal in that time is to simply cut-down my spare tire as much as I can. I won't stop my routine in 6 weeks, though. Being that Emergnsee Festival 2009 isn't until July 17th, I really have 2 1/2 months left, or 10 weeks. But more on that later. I'm keeping my goals near-sighted for now. I'll check on my progress in 6 weeks and see how I feel about it. If more needs to happen outside of daily kung fu and a good diet, I'll make the necessary adjustments.

On with Day Two...

~Jackattak

Portland: Where Amazing Happens

As of last Wednesday night, the Blazer Boys have made what seemed impossible in the beginning of the year utterly undeniable. We tied for the 2nd best record of the Western Conference in the National Basketball Association. And still, no one at said National Basketball Association even stirred.

Yesterday, thousands of Portlanders (Oregonians?) showed-up for the Trail Blazers Playoff Rally in Pioneer Square, Downtown Portland, to show their faith in the boys. Although I couldn't attend due to being one of only a few Portlanders left with a job, my lovely wife, Bunny did make it and she reported that the atmosphere was most electrifying.

So the question remains: When will the Trail Blazers finally be recognized for what they are, one of the most incredible teams that the NBA has seen in years?

Let's go back about three decades, when Portland won their only NBA National Championship Title to date. There was no recognition then, either. Opponents and fans of other teams waffled and scoffed. But let's be straight. They didn't just win the national championship. They did it with blowouts. And still no one gave us our due regard.

The NBA needs to stop sucking the phallus of big market teams and start regarding their small market teams with their due recognition. The almighty dollar might be the most important thing to Mr. Stern, but he needs to be kicked in the teeth with the reality of the situation: There's more to the NBA than the almighty dollar. There's some real magic out there and it's going largely unnoticed with the exception of the die-hard fans.

I have a better idea, though. If the NBA isn't willing to promote our spectacular feat, it's OK. We are in the Information Age. We can do this ourselves. Portland is a creative place, filled with the most progressive people in the United States. We can simply make our own feel-good commercials! Hell, nobody here has a fucking job right now anyway, and the majority of those without jobs are...*gasp* CREATIVE TYPES!

So get to work, you art bums! Use your Adobe apps you stole using BitTorrent to promote our kick-ass Blazer Boys!

And a personal message from me to all of the Trail Blazers staff and players: Thank you so much for such a wonderful year of basketball. At the beginning of the year I could've never imagined this much progress in so little time. You have all amazed me beyond belief, and have shown a non-native what it truly feels like to be a BlazerManiac.

Rip Mother Fuckin' City Bitches!!

A Message to Sir Charles...

Check it out, Charles Barkley. You've got me so pissed right now, I've actually pulled some strings with Google and gotten my Blog revived from the dead.

You're trash-talkin' one helluva team, bruh. Matter of fact, every time I see you on TNT (!!) I hear some ill-will against the Blazers come out of that dumpster you call a mouth. Did you know that Portland is currently number two in the NBA Western Conference? And allow me to help you save some face by stopping you before you say that the Western Conference ain't shit: We're 7-0 against the Eastern Conference, too! SO BACK OFF.

Here's why you and apparently the rest of the NBA "analysts" on national TV hate the Portland Trail Blazers:

1) We're still a homegrown team, with our very own homegrown arena (i.e. not sposnored by Verizon, or Taco Bell, or Your Mom).

2) Know why we're still homegrown? Because we have the Number One Fans of Any Sport, Ever. From 1977 - 1995, the Blazers sold out 814 games. No other team in the history of organized sports (so like, forever) has ever done that. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/73328-blazermania-and-two-unbreakable-records For that, you hate us.

3) Even though we have no corporate sponsorship, we're still somehow able to become the Number Two Team in the NBA Western Conference. For that, you hate us.

4) All of our players are nice guys. Guess what? I'm not. Eat a dick, Sir Charles.

Oh and by the way, who do you coach, Sir Charles? Oh wait, you've just got that armchair quarterbacking job at TNT (!!). 'Nuff said there, I guess.

Get your facts straight. Wanna trash a team? Trash a bad one so that you don't look like a jealous, washed-up fat ass with nothing intelligent to say about basketball (or anything else, really).

Michael Vick

Today's blog is based on the on-going antics of Michael Vick, currently the star quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons NFL team. For those of you living under a rock, Michael has agreed to a guilty plea in the case where he has been indicted for running an organized underground dogfighting ring. There's more to it than just that, but I'll save it for CNN.

Today I want to specifically talk about this article here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/08/22/vick/index.html

Apparently the NAACP's (National Association for Advancement of Colored People) Atlanta chapter has said that they don't think Michael Vick should be banned from pro football. They've also said that Michael Vick only agreed to a guilty plea deal in fear of "rolling the dice" in a trial where he may be found guilty, anyway. They ALSO said that Michael is being persecuted more for having "just killed some dogs" than he would have been if he had killed a human being. They also, ALSO said that people hunt deer and other animals all the time, and nobody ever finds anything wrong with that. Holy shitballs. I simply can't let that dog lie (pun intended).

Here we go.

Let's look at the first thing the NAACP has said about Mr. Vick. They claim that they don't think he should be banned from NFL football. They think that he should pay his dues and then be allowed back in. Personally, being an animal lover, I think what he's claimed to be "fully responsible for" and guilty of is an abominable act and that anyone that supports him is either condoning his activity as being acceptable or capable of lending a blind eye to it. That, to me, is just as bad as committing the crime, and he should in no way be allowed back in to the NFL, nor would I want him endorsing my product line if I ever had one. It's a well known fact that those who commit acts of cruelty upon animals are susceptible to sociopathic behavior. Do we really want sociopaths in our NFL? Do we want our kids growing up with these types of role models? Anybody remember Jeffrey Dahmer?

The NAACP also claimed that Michael only agreed to a guilty plea bargain because he was fearful of "rolling the dice" in a trial where he could've been found guilty of much, much more. I agree with that, but not for the same reasons that the NAACP would. I agree to that because he's afraid of the extra charges the prosecution has in store for him should he not agree to the plea bargain. The prosecution obviously has enough evidence to send him up the river for years, otherwise they wouldn't have threatened him with it. I'm completely against plea bargaining in the first place, by the way. It's a mockery of the judicial system. Does it save taxpayers money? Probably. Is it worth it? Not a penny. You're letting a criminal off easy. The NAACP probably thinks that because he's "colored" (using their terminology, not mine) that he will automatically be found guilty. I'd like to think that isn't the case. I mean, after all, OJ Simpson is "colored" and he got off, right?

I'm going to lump their last two comments into one, because they are of similar nature. They said that he is being persecuted more for "just killing some dogs" than he would've been if he had murdered humans. They said that people hunt deer and other animals all the time, and no one ever goes after them. "Just killing some dogs?" Really? He didn't "just" kill some dogs. He body slammed one. He electrocuted several. He hung others. And let's not just look at how he did it. Let's look at why. He killed the dogs because they didn't perform well enough in his illegal dogfighting ring. Dog fighting is barbaric. Any animal fighting rings are barbaric and despicable. Killing animals because they don't perform well in those situations is equally barbaric and despicable. I for one couldn't imagine body slamming any animal at all, even if it were attacking me or mine! I could think of about a million better, faster, more humane ways of killing something that was endangering my life or someone else's. I could think of those ways on the fly, as well. Body slamming an animal shows to me that he got some sort of sick enjoyment out of doing it. So does electrocution and hanging. Why not just shoot it in the head? Seems like you'd go to a lot less trouble to me. Not that I would find it more acceptable. And I can't believe that they brought up hunting animals. People hunt to eat the animals! Hunters don't body slam deer! They shoot them in the lung, heart, or head and get it over with quick, then they pay homage to the beast they've just killed and eat it! These are animals that are effectively raised just for hunting. Hunting is not a crime because it's a means of sustenance for some families. I don't personally hunt anymore (I have before, but don't now for personal reasons), but I certainly don't have a problem with it. Hell sometimes hunting is a necessity for nature in order to keep individual ecosystems in balance. It's not a bloodsport. You're not pitting an otherwise innocent animal in a ring to defend itself and making a profit from it.

These comments made by the NAACP this morning are representative of what they're about nowadays. They have turned from an organization that was useful in the days after segregation in order to get everyone on board to an organization that will blindly defend "colored" people in any light, no matter how dim. It's ridiculous. Anyone who says this has anything to do with race is, in fact, a racist. Blacks are not the only people who employ illegal dogfighting rings. Perhaps the reason that the NAACP feels a need to defend Mike is because they feel that there is a stereotype with pit bull fighting and blacks. Perhaps they feel this way because black rappers glorify it. Perhaps they're right.

But that doesn't mean they get to defend it.

That means that they should use their time more wisely and attempt to find a means of eradicating the behavior from their oh-so-more-important "colored" people.

No one on Earth is more important than the next. Not the President of the United States. Not a cop. Not the mother or the father of a child. Not a black person. Not an Asian. Not a Caucasian. We are all the same and we all shall have the same chances with the same repercussions. Anyone who feels differently is either a racist or is looking out for their own idiocy.

I say Michael Vick never sets foot on pro ball field ever again. Let him rot in the European leagues for 1% of his current salary.

Peace, J

"Minorities"

*DISCLAIMER: I am not wholly a "racist," at least not in a negative sense (meaning I don't hate anyone based on their skin color, and I try my damnedest not to prejudge based on it). I am a "racist" to an extent that I believe there are some common truths that exist only because of racism, or if you prefer the term (which I don't), "reverse-racism" (which to some people means being a non-Caucasian and being racist, which I find an extremely stupid term...you're either racist or not, and certainly being a racist has NOTHING to do with one's own skin color).

When thinking of a title for my blog today, I was racking my brain for a fitting epithet. Then it occurred to me that the most fitting title of all might just be the subject itself, albeit in quotes (just to add that little hint of a smack).

The term minority has historically been used in the United States to describe any person who was of a race that was in lower populace than the most-popular race of the region. (Actually, after some research just now, I found that it was first used in that context popularly by some European scientists in 1913.) Consequently, that meant that if you weren't a Caucasian, that you were probably a minority of the region you were in, considering the proliferation of Whitey in the US throughout the past couple hundred years.

Of course Whitey (aka Honkey, Cracker, Massa, Boss, Whitebread) is still the most popular race in the US, but that all depends on where you live. You see, I spent my teenage years in the Dirty South, where blacks and Latinos most certainly are NOT considered a minority (at least not by me). I spent the rest of the time before my teenage years in Louisville, KY, which a lot of you probably think is one of the most racist places in the US. Well, if you think that, you're ignorant. Don't take that term the wrong way. Being ignorant of a fact or some facts doesn't mean you're stupid. It just means that you have no clue what you're talking about on that particular subject. ;-)

Allow me to educate you: Kentucky is on the northern side of the Mason-Dixon line, Abe Lincoln fucking lived there and still has property there (any of you ever hear of My Old Kentucky Home?), and was a huge part of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960's. As I grew up there, I congregated, befriended, and learned with a veritable mixing pot of different races. My Mother taught me in my earliest years that there was only one race: The Human Race. I still believe that today.

So now that you have a bit of background (if not a completely exhaustive one), hopefully the rest of this blog's viewpoints will make a bit of sense. If they don't, not to worry. It's not your fault. It's probably your parents'.

Today I read on CNN (sorry, it's an old crutch from my Army days) that Whitey is actually a minority in 1 in 10 US counties. That made me a bit happy to see at first, mainly because I despise the term minority when used in that context, and it felt good to hear it used the other way around. I don't believe in minorities when used in that context. It's untrue. No one is a fucking minority, and if I were black, Asian, or Latino and anyone ever called me a minority or referred to me as one, I'd probably jack them in the mouth. The only minority on Earth is a fucking panda bear and that's because they're too fucking stupid to breed.

We all get the same chance. If you do well in school and work hard at life, you're going to make something out of yourself. If you have no common sense, no ambition, no drive, no goals, and no desire to live life to the fullest extent, then yes. You're a minority. You're a minority then because you're not powerful enough to make it in life. Ever hear of Darwin's Theory? In case you haven't, it's based on the suggestion that only the strong survive. I believe in Darwin's Theory to a certain extent. I say to a certain extent because as a sentient race (again, The Human Race is what I'm talking about here) we have the ability to help each other out, regardless of where we came from, what we look like, or what life we've led.

I believe that everyone could use a helping hand here and there, but only to get them motivated. We all make mistakes and need a little help sometimes. We're only Human. Sometimes Nature makes life hard and wipes us out with Her tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters. Sometimes our spouses get hit by a speeding bus and we're left without any income. Regardless of how it happens, it typically does happen to most of us at least once, and we could use some assistance. I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm perfectly fine with people making a mistake a time or two (most of you know I've made my fair share of them) and needing a little helping hand. However, if you don't eventually learn from your mistakes, in my opinion, you deserve to be left behind because you're just not fit for society. The same thing goes in the Animal Kingdom and we are no different with the exception of sentience. That sentience allows us a bit of leeway, but only a bit. If we go around helping out everyone all the time, we leave behind a lot of others who could've had a great chance and who could've possibly done something good for society, as opposed to some lazy idiot who's getting a full scholarship based on his or her skin color and not their merit.

Which brings me to the full point of today's blog. No one, and I mean NO ONE, should ever get a full ride or even a bit of assistance based on where they're from, what their skin color is, who their great-grandparents were, or how much income the demographic of their neighborhood makes.

Don't make enough money? Get a new job someplace where you will, or work harder at your job so that you can get promoted. That's called drive.

Not happy living in the 'Hood, the Boondocks, the Country, or the Big City? Save your money and move somewhere else. That's called common sense.

Not happy flipping burgers at the local McDonald's or working at the local factory? Go to college or tech school and learn about something that makes you happy. That's called ambition.

Upset because you weren't the star quarterback in high school or didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize for saving Darfur (we're still waiting, whoever you are)? Perhaps you should've followed your dreams. Those are called goals.

Desire, unfortunately isn't something you can really learn. That's where Darwin's Theory comes into the equation for humans. You either have the desire to get out of the shithole you live in (if you live in one...consequently I live in quite possibly the greatest place on Earth: Portland Fucking Oregon), or you don't. You either want more for you and your family, or you don't. No one can teach you that. No one really should. Desire is personal. What makes us all individuals is that we all have different desires.

If your desire is to live on a farm in the country your whole life and drive an hour just to get to the corner store, so be it. Enjoy that life because we appreciate the vegetables, meat, and grain that you provide for us.

If your desire is to live in Detroit, MI and build cars in a factory, so be it. Enjoy that life because we appreciate the cars you build for us to get to and fro (those of you who live someplace that requires you to drive one, that is).

If I were black, I would despise the NAACP, Jesse Jackson, the "Reverend" Al Sharpton, and any other person, black or otherwise, who felt like because of my skin color I was deficient, or "minor" (key word in minority). How come Asians don't have a NAACP? Why don't Latinos? Why is it just blacks? Sounds to me like someone needed a cash cow and is marketing blacks as stupid and deficient because of some mistakes that Old White Men made LAST CENTURY. And they do market blacks that way and they have turned it into a cash cow. Ask Al Sharpton how much money is in his bank account. Ask him how much he and Jessie make just for speaking on TV. How much of that money goes back to the black community?

I'm not picking on blacks. Let's take a look at the American Latino population for second. Latinos are some of the hardest working people on the planet. That's not racist. It's true. Look at the jobs they're willing to do that Whitey thinks he's too good for. All that food you're feeding your fat ass at the ritzy restaurants? It's created and prepared in fine fashion by Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, and other Latinos. All those nice, cozy, cookie-cutter McMansions that you like to watch your kids grow up in? Hand-built with care by Latinos. And you know what? If anyone deserves a better chance than you or I, it's probably them. I say that because they have enough drive, goals, ambitions, and common FUCKING sense to get out of the crappy school systems, crappy pay, and crappy government that they live in and risk their asses crossing a border guarded by racist Old White Americans (aka The Minutemen) just to survive and provide more for their families. They are the true underdogs here. They come to a country where they don't speak the language and get paid shit to do jobs that we think we're too good to do anymore just to have something better than where they are. Now I'm not saying I would condone such a program, but I would certainly think higher of it than a program that helps people who were BORN in America and have 300,000 times the chance of survival than someone born in Darfur, Cambodia, Honduras, or Chechnya.

Asians? Don't even get me started. You need no assistance because you could quite possibly be ruling the planet in 20 years. Of course I'm joking (somewhat), but how many poor, uneducated Asians do you know? Exactly.

I'm not mad at anyone for being more successful than I have been or than I will be when I grow up. I'm not mad at anyone who has more ambitions, more drive, more talent, or greater goals than I do (although I might be a bit jealous at times, lol).

What I am mad about is perfectly good, talented, brilliant human beings getting passed-up to go to their dream school that they've worked hard for all their lives to get into just because someone thinks that another person's skin color makes them inferior.

What I am mad about is lazy, ignorant people sitting back and collecting a welfare check and filling the world with more ignorant, lazy people who will no doubt do the same thing when they get older because it's all they've ever known while me and my wife have to work our asses off just to go to college and eat ramen. Our taxes pay for your ignorant, lazy asses to eat. And don't think that I'm talking about only blacks here because I'm not. There are just as many white trash families and others doing the same thing.

If you do well in school and work hard, you will achieve every single thing you desire. I do know that.

Because the only people who do well in school and work hard that die hungry and unsatisfied are artists. ;-)

Peace, J